Why I Want A Boyfriend But Don’t

Hooray for titles that don’t make sense! 🙂 At least I didn’t name this something like, “This girl doesn’t want a boyfriend. Her reason blew my mind. What happens next is unbelievable!!!” #FalseAdvertistmentTheseDays.

There are a couple of reasons that motivated me to write this post. First of all, I have to give credits to my friend Rochelle who one day decided to go on my fb and change my status to the following:

hacked

The comments are absolutely hilarious. I was originally going to delete the status but once I saw the comments, I changed my mind. It was too good. Because of this status, many people thought I was seriously on the look out for a boyfriend due to super random messages I started to get from random guys I don’t talk to. So let me set things straight. I don’t want a freaking boyfriend. Well I do. But I don’t.

I’ll explain in a bit

The second reason I decided to write this is because ever since I got home (3 days ago, not even), my mom won’t stop bugging me about not having a boyfriend. She said to my brother today, “omg your sister doesn’t have a boyfriend what are we gonna do?!” MOTHER, I AM ONLY 20 YEARS OLD. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING #ShesScaredSheWontHaveGrandkids. Then, she associates all my problems to the fact that I’m lacking a boyfriend. My body is sore because I moved all day? It’s cause I don’t have a boyfriend that can help me. My friend couldn’t pick me up anymore? Well, if I had a boyfriend, he would’ve been able to pick me up. I’m sitting at home watching TV? See, if I had a boy, we could be hiking up Mt. Everest #Ridiculous.

The third and final reason why I thought this post would be important is because I often complain to my friends about my singlism (#SoundsLikeAReligion) when I’m actually totally kidding. When your best friends are all in relationships and they’re talking about being in relationships, your only equivalent topic is to talk about how single you are #DoYouUnderstandMyPainNow.

Therefore… I thought this post would yet another great way to spend my alone time and for me to explain myself if you care #WhichYouDo #IHope #Despo.

To help explain this catastrophe #DramaQueenHour, there’s something you should know.

..

….

I’m lesbian.

I’M KIDDING! Although if I was, I would totally be dating my roommate Marga already because she doesn’t have a girlfriend yet and and we hit it off. Too bad. #MaybeInAnotherLife

(PS. if you’re into Marga let me know and I’ll hook you up if you’re not sketchy and I like you and approve and you can make us laugh and make us food while you’re at it #LongListOfExpectations ;D)

Me and Marga are too compatible… what could’ve been Marga, what.could.have.been. #WhyCantILikeWomenInstead

In the last two years (exactly #Happy2YearAnniversaryLisa) that I’ve been single, I’ve never genuinely wanted to be with someone. Not because I’m a prune and want to live with a bunch of cats (or am I…), but I guess it’s mostly because I’ve spent all of high school in a relationship and it was finally time for me to really learn more about myself without the help of others #Deep #IKnow. More importantly, I didn’t meet my Prince Charming because he is apparently taking his sweet time looking for me #OrNotLookingAtAllYouJerk. Frankly, I’m thrilled that fate did not throw The One in my face in the last 2 years. I mean, moving halfway across the country was already too much to deal with, let alone dragging someone else into my mess. I’m not saying love is about convenience but yeah it is. (#JK) But truthfully, I’m thankful I didn’t meet Mr. Right at a Not-Right-Now time.

That being said, even though I preferred being single all these years #TalkingAsThoughIm50 #EvenThoughItsOnlyBeen2Years, it obviously would be nice having someone to share your biggest moments with. I mean, who doesn’t want a cuddle buddy and someone to rant to about meaningless things in their lives ?!#NobodyWantsToBeMyBFNow. As nice as that sounds, I’m not one to grab someone off the street and say, “You shall be my boyfriend from now on.” Nope… I’m what my roommates call “picky”. But really, I’m not “picky”, I’m just waiting for the right person to come along #DoesThatMeanImPicky. What I’m trying to say is that having a boyfriend is nice, and it would be nice if I got myself one of those  (#AsThoughTheyreACommodity #TheyreNot) but I would much rather fully commit myself in a relationship with someone that I can connect with #IJustHaveALotOfFeelings. One thing that’s more important to me than finding My Man is finding My Career. I would rather be allocating my time to finding my passion than spending it on someone that I know is not right for me. Opportunity costs, yo! #Econ101

Anyway… to really summarize what I’m trying to say because I feel like I blab a lot about nothing and go off topic a lot like right now, is this: Mom, I would really love to have a boyfriend right now but I’m only down to have a boyfriend that can make me laugh til I want to pee and understands me and makes me a better person and can have intellectually stimulating conversations with me so until that magical day comes where a boy like that walks into my life I will probably be single for the next little while #LetsBePatient #ImOnly20 #OMFGIMSOOLD #ForeverAlone #FML #LetsStartHandingOutApplications.

To those of you who are happily in love and are basically with the person you’re gonna marry… #IHateYou #JK #ImJustJealousFateGotToYouALittleSooner.

To those of you who are still single… know that you’re not alone and if we really all pair up, we wouldn’t be single so it’s really our choice and don’t feel bad about it because #GirlPower #OrBoy #Whatever #YouGetMyPoint.

Love,
Lisa

 

 

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